Four Degrees Warmer! (that wouldn’t be satirical now?)

Written by Dr Klaus L E Kaiser

Polar bears
The climate is running away, it’s hard to keep up with it.

It’s been measured on a daily basis for around 60 years now by the Danish Meteorological Institute (DMI). You can follow it on their website, specifically at Ocean.dmi . The data and graphs plotted there is the daily mean temperature of the Arctic area north of the 80th northern parallel and is estimated from the average of the 00z (midnight, GMT) and 12z (noon, GMT) values.

Right now, the temperature is only MINUS 25 C while the long-term mean is more like -29 C for this time of year—what a heat wave!

The Polar Bears are Sweating

Clearly, with such a heat wave, the polar bears must be sweating—and they don’t even wear sweaters!

Of course most of the Arctic sea is frozen stiff and most ice breakers that ply the high Arctic seas in summer are now safely tied up for several months in their home ports.

Interestingly, the idea of a melting Arctic is not apparent from other DMI records, like the Extent of Arctic Sea-ice and the Arctic Sea-ice Volume. In fact, those data show the opposite of the Arctic “melting away” with substantial increases to near record levels on Greenland.

Perhaps, there is hope for the bears after all.

So, let’s explore some options that could provide more eco-just living conditions for the sweating bears.


In order to save the polar bears from heat stroke, they need cooler temperatures. A mere -25 C just won’t do. So, let’s equip them with some portable windmills that can provide the required electric energy to run (also) portable refrigerationfor them. Weighing in at a few hundred pounds each, the bears should have no problem with carrying that extra gear. They ought to look at it as a sort of carbon cooling tax—strictly for their own benefit.


Let’s pay them Russkies a few millions to keep their ice breakers running year round. With a good push, all that useless ice near the North Pole (way above the latitude of polar bear occurrence) ought to be moved to the lower latitudes, where it is in dire need. It may even help the inhabitants along the Arctic shores to lower their electricity consumption for air conditioning and thus reduce their “carbon foot-print” too.


Let’s persuade them polar bears to change their traditional habit, like living off the plentiful seal population. Red meat isn’t supposed to be that ecological anyway, some folks even call it unhealthy. Really, who says the bears would not like to live happily ever after on a vegan diet? Perhaps they would take to honey with the same ferocity as their black-bear cousins?


Really, it’s not enough to have a polar bear image on the Canadian two-dollar coin (picture nearby)! After all, with inflationary pressures not abating, Canada needs to upgrade her currency as soon as possible. So, for starters, let’s upgrade the two-dollar coin, widely known as “T[w]oonie” (introduced in 1996), to a four-dollar denomination. In analogy to the Toonie, I propose its name to become “F[our]oonie.” Of course, to drive home the double value, the novel Foonie ought to depict not just one bear but a pair of polar bears.

Undoubtedly, a Foonie would also be a numismatic novelty par excellence. Where else does one find a four-(-dollar, or -whatever) coin? In 1880 or so, there was a proposal for the “Stella”, a U.S. four-dollar gold coin but it never became an official coin. The financial news powerhouse Bloomberg claims the 425 Stella examples minted are now worth in the order of $60,000 apiece.Clearly, a novel Canadian Foonie could create a substantial windfall to the Royal Canadian Mint and, possibly, provide the polar bears with a way to get the needed cooling-gear as well.

In Summary Then

Where there is a will, there is a way and, perhaps, a bit of fantasy might be helpful too.

In any event, my best wishes to you and yours for this year of 2019, may it bring you joy and contentment!


Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser is author of CONVENIENT MYTHS, the green revolution – perceptions, politics, and facts Convenient Myths


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